If your New Year’s resolutions have already begun to wane, maybe it’s time to rethink your approach.
Sometimes New Year’s resolutions are set for the wrong reasons. Are you trying to make changes for yourself, or because of society’s or someone else’s expectations of you? “If we don’t take time to reflect on where we are in life, what is working and what is not, the goals we set can reflect more of a superficial layer than our authentic self,” explained Lana Abboud, integrative psychologist and acupuncturist with the Penny George Institute for Health and Healing. “This is the time to think about what you are ready to let go of and what you want to step in to.”
If you are trying to change habits, think about what is contributing to the behavior you want to change. Unhealthy habits can sometimes be a reflection of something deeper.
For example, if your goal is to rein in poor eating habits, Abboud suggests taking some time to consider what makes you eat unwisely. “Maybe it’s because of loneliness, stress or because your relationships are not going well,” she said. Accessing and addressing the root cause will help you make lasting change.
“It’s kind of like trying to fill a void in your life with buying new clothes or a red Mercedes. You buy those things thinking they will make you happy, but you still feel like something’s not quite right. That’s because you are trying to fill the void with external things when the work is more internal.”
Another reason that resolutions don’t stick is because we take on too much all at once. “What you want to focus on is building mastery,” said Abboud. “Think about it like steps on a staircase.”
Instead of making a resolution to lose 50 pounds, break it down into smaller goals that are more sustainable. Skip sweets during the week and enjoy a small treat during the weekend. If exercising every day proves impossible, walk three times a week. As you achieve these smaller goals, move on to the next level.
As you build mastery, your self-confidence and sense of empowerment will increase. That means you’ll be less likely to give up when you experience minor set-backs.
Tips to make resolutions stick
- Focus on adding positives rather than removing negatives. For example, instead of eliminating all sweets from your diet, find ways to add more protein, or choose more foods with naturally occurring simple sugars (fruits, vegetables and dairy products) instead of processed sugars.
- Choose resolutions better tailored to your own environment and capacities. Don’t commit to going to the gym six times a week when the nearest gym is an hour away.
- Surround yourself with circumstances, people and images that support you and that feel good to be around.
- Provide yourself with gentle reminders of the benefits of accomplishing your resolutions to boost your motivation.
- Remember, New Year’s resolutions offer an opportunity for change. You are not broken, yet what is an area that could use more refinement in your life? What potential have you yet to evoke? Even if you’ve been locked into the same pattern for years, begin to welcome change.